I Married and Then Fell In Love

When I saw you for the first time, I did not see your beauty, I did not feel the beauty of your heart. I saw blemishes on your face, I saw your dull complexion, I saw your uneven teeth.

When I talked to you for the first time, the thought that evolved in my mind was “she is not beautiful, she is just an ordinary country girl, she is not my type.”

When I met you for the first time, I could not predict our common destiny, I could not foresee our engagement, our wedding.

When we were engaged and then got married, I discovered similarities as well as differences. You had my bad qualities, you had my good qualities.

When we became together, you absolutely knew nothing about my work, my interest and hobbies, my dreams and aspirations.

These days a thought strikes in my mind, “What would have happened if we had met 8 years ago. I had a long hair, my eyebrow was pierced. Would you have said yes to a guy who looked more like a hippie? Would you have fallen for a guy with that kind of appearance?

You always tell me that you love me more than I love you. I don’t know how you get this feeling, but I know there is no instrument to measure love, and I love you as much as you love me.

Sometimes it is frustrating when you say “I was not your first choice, you never wanted to marry me, you listened to your mind rather than your heart when you decided to marry me.”

My answer to you is there is no medicine to cure doubts.

The truth is I found true love when I met you. I did not like you when we met first time, but gradually I began loving you, I began thinking that I am incomplete without you. Yes, I did have couple of affairs, but affairs of young age were very flimsy. I never felt the way I feel these days.

I always tried to find happiness by striving alone. I thought happiness is achieved by seeking something alone. However, you taught me happiness is found in life by being together, sharing together. When we are together, I am happy; when we share, I am happy. These days, even sharing a glass of water with you makes me happier than drinking juice alone.

My love, when we are together life becomes organized and I am able to handle situations easily. When we are together, everything becomes easier, everything is on track.  When we are together, I am more courageous, more creative, and more productive.  Now, I cannot imagine my life without you.

Love and marriage are interconnected. Yes, it is true, I found true love when I was married. We were married according to Hindu rituals. The priest had recited verses from the Hindu Scriptures Vedas and other Hindu Mythologies, which are said to be more than three thousand years old. The priests, our parents and our relatives blessed “May our love resemble the love between Sati Devi and Mahadeva, Parvati and Shiva, Ram and Sita, Radha and Krishna.” The verses chanted during our wedding connected our souls with the Supreme soul (God).Now, we are no longer two, we are just one.

In my bachelorhood, I always rejected an idea of getting married and being tied to a woman. I never looked myself as a husband thing. I interpreted marriage as a state of losing freedom. Marriage is life-changing event. I had never dreamed of getting married. In fact, I did not believe in the institution called marriage. I dated girls, I had smooth and stable relationship with few, but never thought about getting marriage. However, these days I’m interpreting marriage as a second inning in an individual’s life.

Just in two months after meeting you for the first time, I was engaged to you and 22 days after our official engagement, we got married. People say it was too short to know and get married to a girl. However, today we have proved that we made a right decision. After the wedding, we did not go for honeymoon. You had to continue to attend classes in the community colleges and I had to go on with my writing assignments.

Darling, I never believed that our destiny, or fate, is predetermined. I believed in karma, therefore, I believed we create our own destiny, we carve our own fate. However, my belief turned upside down when I met you.

When I met you I never thought I would get married to you. Marriage was not even on my cards. However, we had a common destiny, we got married. Isn’t this interesting that your name and my pet name are similar.

We are similar in many ways, yet we are also so different. Similar things can be slotted together nicely. Opposite always attracts

We have been married for four years. One day without realizing we will have 25th anniversary, or 50th anniversary for that matter. Time passes and unknowingly we will grow old. I want to grow old with you, I want you and I to share our stories with our grandchildren: how we met, how we got married, and how we discovered ourselves when we married.

I have written numerous love poems, love stories and love letters. However, these were not written for you.

When I met you I still wrote poems, stories and letters, however, I gave more preference to mind rather than the matter of hearts. I wrote poems, stories and letters about identity crisis, existential problem, pain and suffering.

There was no use of writing such thing to you, for you. Therefore, I never wrote anything to you, for you.  Even though this letter is meant for you, I know you will never read this because you don’t read what I write and publish.

Do you remember, once I had asked you whether you wanted me to write to you, for you? You said it was not necessary. Nevertheless, when I was reading my old poems to you, I could see a desire in your face, “How wonderful it would have been if this was written for me.”

You were jealous, you said my love poems were the letters I wrote to my girlfriends. You said I must have many affairs and I will never love you as I loved my girlfriends.

I kind of laughed. You forgot that I was a poet and a writer.

I love you. But you must understand I am an adult, therefore, I cannot show my love as a teenager. In teens I could write love poems, but as an adult I will hardly be able to write about how I feel, even though when I am with you, I always forget that I am a mature man, and feel like a teenager.

Darling, perhaps I had accumulated good karma in my previous life, therefore, I met you, I was engaged to you, and I was married to you.

Few days ago, in a cold afternoon, you were tending our rose garden. “Darling, what are you doing in the cold,” I asked.

“I hope this plant will give me a beautiful flower for Valentine’s Day,” you replied. I caressed your hair and kissed on your forehead.

This is what I love about you, your simplicity and your enduring love.

We don’t need extravagant gifts to celebrate love, kiss and rose can do wonder.

On the Valentine’s Day, when I wake up the first thing I will do is kiss you and tell you that I am incomplete without you.  Actually, every day is a day for love for me because I am so much in love with you my love. We married on February, the love month. One gloomy day in February, I asked you, “Darling what do you want for Valentine’s Day and Wedding Anniversary?”

“Just wake me up with sweet kisses,” you said.

Aha, this is the thing that makes my life wonderful.

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