Fear is a common human attribute. All of us are born with fear. As we grow older, a lot of us learn to overcome fear. However, some of us never learn to cope with fear. Gradually, fear becomes so great that we are gripped with other grave problems like anxiety and depression.
Fear of Loneliness
There are different kinds of fear. The most common is the fear of loneliness. In fact, the first type of fear that a human being encounters is the fear of loneliness. Even a newborn child is afraid of loneliness. Probably, you must have seen a child cry when he is alone.
Fear of Darkness
Human beings are afraid of so many things. Another common type of fear is the fear of darkness. Possibly, you have seen a child afraid of darkness. It is very common for a child to cry whenever he is left in darkness. Sadly, for many people, this fear of darkness never disappears. Physiologically speaking, the human body is not comfortable with darkness because the sense of sight is limited in darkness. Since people cannot see in darkness and cannot perceive what is what, they are uncomfortable in darkness.
What Fear Does to You?
As you grow older, you will be afraid of a lot more things. You will be afraid of your parents because you spilled milk. You will be afraid of your teachers because you did not do your homework. In school, when the teacher will call you to answer, you will freak out because you are afraid. In difficult circumstances like these, you will always panic. You will be heeding to the bathroom, or your face will turn red.
Your fear will not dwindle, in fact, it goes on multiplying. Fear is natural, you are wired with fear. You need to transform so that you can face every situation without being afraid. Fear, in fact, is your inborn tendency to keep yourself safe. Therefore, you need to use your fear to your advantage. You cannot let that fear hold you back, or stop you.
What Exactly is Fear?
Fear is an emotional state, it is an experience similar to anger, pain, joy, or frustrations. Just like you experience happiness, you experience fear. Since these are your own experience, you are in charge of these emotions. You feel fear, anger, frustrations, happiness due to the environment and the situations. Environment and situations trigger fear. Your job, your boss, your girlfriend, your mistakes, your shortcomings, everything contributes to your fear. You cannot control the outside world; however, you can control what’s inside you.
When you focus on the loss, the process you have to go through, and the outcome of this situation, you will be more fearful. You are fearful because you don’t want to be in pain. The human body is driven by the tendency to avoid pain. That’s why we are so fearful. Focus on the gain, joy, and positive outcomes.
Factors That Trigger Fear
The first step to overcome fear is to learn your physical symptoms during your fearful state. You become afraid when you are focusing on something that you are uncomfortable with. For example, you might be afraid of your boss because last time when you went to his cabin, he scolded. You are focusing on your last meeting with your boss and this focus is making you fearful.
Let me give you another example. You are like this girl very much, yet you are afraid to talk to her. You are afraid because you are focusing on things like the girl is not going to like me, she is going to reject me, etc. These kinds of negative focus are making you fearful. Your focus will determine how you feel. If you focus on negative things, you will be fearful.
Another thing that triggers your fear is your mental images. You are afraid of your boss because the image you have of him is that of shrewd nature. You are afraid to talk to the girl because the image of her in your mind is that she is going to tell you to f**k off. These images intensify your emotions.
The language you use also triggers your fear. For example, you might be telling yourself your boss is again going to scold you, the girl is going to say no, or you tell yourself you are not good enough for the girl. These kinds of negative impressions and language are going to make you more fearful.
When you can identify the physiological, psychological, and linguistic symptoms, it will be easier for you to understand your fear. When you understand your symptoms, you can try reacting just the opposite. Instead of being afraid to walk to your boss and focusing on hard things he might be telling you, you will have to feel more confident. Instead of making a negative judgment about the girl, you will have to tell yourself that the girl is going to say yes.
You can take a deep breath, straighten your posture, walk confidently, and have better eye contact and talk clearly. Your body language can help you overcome fear. You will have to recognize yourself as someone who is in charge of your emotions, language, and focus. You are fearful because you are conditioned in that fear. You have to come out of this conditioned state.
How to Handle Fear?
The human brain and body are much capable of things that they are thinking or doing. Once you realize your limitless possibilities, you can control your fear. When you know this you can develop the competency to handle and then the confidence to manage properly. The more you understand things, the more confident you become. When you understand, you can easily rearrange your mindset.